Did you mean it? [ He asks this, but he's already moved to take Ibuki's hand within his, curling their fingers together. Why would he do anything else?
If they hadn't walked where they had, he might have asked Ibuki if he was really sure he wanted to touch his hands after all of that. But they're past that. He can't and won't offer words of comfort either, but that's fine too isn't it? He can offer other things, but more importantly (and obviously, especially to himself), he wants to offer them. ]
[ He lets his own fingers curl around as well, feelings swirling around his mind growing more positive. The cold of resentment slowly recedes to the background, a chill still there but no longer overpowering. Yeah, this is what he wanted to do. It's what little he can offer with what he has now. And there's nothing wrong with that, he thinks as he looks at Shigaraki's face.
The world may be cruel and indifferent, but he's starting to realize that he doesn't want it to take this away from him. ]
Right. Free to do whatever we want no matter what anyone else thinks.
[ A smile spreads across his lips, content and pleased. ]
All that stuff you saw, that's why I wanna destroy everything. To destroy what that house stood for, I gotta destroy it all. [ His fingers twitch slightly just thinking about it. ]
But it's also for the fun of it all too. I'm doin' it for me. Just like this.
[ Not that Ibuki didn't already understand the urge to destroy society, but he's right in that it does put things into more perspective. Why would anyone want a society with such skewed priorities to continue? He nods, acknowledging. ]
Mmhm, they had their time; they can deal with us showing them what we think of their symbols. Not like it should be a surprise anyway. It's a long time coming. So might as well enjoy doing what you got to do.
[ His own smile gets a little wider, happy at the sight of Shigaraki's. It's easier to breathe now. ]
Yeah, just like this.
[ He squeezes his hand lightly, content with the feeling. ]
[ He laughs lightly, accepting those words, accepting this touch, simply because he wants to do so. In truth he's always been the type to accept what's been offered to him, at least as long as he can keep being himself. ]
Oh, yeah, speaking of symbols—I said I'd show you the other hand, right? [ Hm, well he can do this one handed and that's far as his logic extends to hand holding, so. He reaches into his pocket to pull out one (1) male adult sized hand, somewhere a mix between taxidermied and artificial appearance wise. ]
I used to wear these all the time as a reminder, but all of 'em are gone now besides this one, my father's. It's just an accessory, but I haven't felt like wearin' it.
[ There's something about how someone being unapologetically themselves catches Ibuki's attention, makes him want to stare and observe like he's looking into a kaleidoscope. And to him, the way Shigaraki stands his ground no matter what happens is the most eye-catching of them all.
May they continue to be themselves until the very end. ]
I remember.
[ Ah yes, that day. He recalls the beeps of Paperboy, the sweet taste of the cupcake, and of course, the discussion about his Master. Turning his head to the extra hand in the area, he peers at it with curious eyes. Not disgusted or disturbed, simply intrigued at the new sight. Some lingering resentment stirs when he mentions it's his father's hand, but it feels filtered through a sort of sieve now. It doesn't reach his expression at all. ]
Looks kind of cool after all. [ Putting what it is aside, hands are pretty cool. ] But right, accessories are optional for a reason? No harm in keeping it somewhere when not in use.
What, did you think it wasn't gonna be? [ That's largely a joke because he knows he's a chuuni and doesn't care. He's also been called every name in the book when it comes to these hands. ]
Yeah, but I was wonderin' if I should get a new accessory. I wouldn't know what to get though cuz these were given to me.
[ His tone is joking, since even he's kind of aware that hands aren't a typical accessory. Not that he's one to mind human norms much, but still. It definitely stands out in a crowd. He wonders how that went over.
That aside, Ibuki tilts his head to the side, going through a list of accessories in his mind. ]
If you want to? I'm probably not the best to ask for recommendations. Usually I only wear my charm as an earring. [ He gestures towards the earring on his right ear with his free hand. ] But if it helps, these can come as bracelets, necklaces, phone charms, and watches.
[ He cocks his head at the gesture and the charm, thinking more. ]
It'd have to be sturdy whatever it is. Property damage goes along with the whole destruction thing. [ Which is to say as a shounen, he rarely escapes combat nowadays without losing at least part of his wardrobe, getting burned, tossed around, you name it. It's all in good fun. ]
Ah, I usually fight as Moravia, so I don't have to worry about damaging it then.
[ The joys of being a magical girl with all the rules it implies. ]
Almost anything can get blown up if you try hard enough though. Even something like hair extensions. [ Maybe this is why he usually doesn't wear many accessories, now that he thinks about it. ] Yuuki's friend wears nail polish, but it'd probably chip off in a fight? Rings can get caught in something...
I'm not a turtle either! [ He makes a face which is funny considering he walked around with 14 pairs of hands for over a decade, but looking like a turtle or a fungus is where we draw the line. ]
Shells are useful yeah, but they don't fit my image.
Yeah, you're much faster. [ Okay, that gets an audible chuckle out of him. ]
Point taken. [ Shigakoopa... ] I'm sure you can think of one eventually if you still feel like it later? Ideas always seem to pop up in the most unexpected ways.
[ Time to find out! He'll need his hand back to divide the melon and...I'd love to say he had the foresight to bring a knife but he does not. Thankfully he uh. Does have the strength to literally rip this melon in two?
This is fine. Here's your half of the melon Ibuki. ]
Hopefully not. But then you know you can just grab a bunch of melon soda instead.
[ Honestly, ripping it by hand was his first thought as well. Hurray for the ability to self-augment his physical strength. But since Shigaraki beat him to it, Ibuki simply takes his half and takes a bite.
Before he can form and voice an opinion though, he's distracted by a memory surrounds them yet again. ]
2/2 cw: body horror, questionable fanfic (thanks yashima)
[ One of the researchers outside unceremoniously pushes you into the room.
"Take care of this already!"
The researchers' voices ring in your ears, an alarm you're not supposed to ignore. You know what they mean: they want you to dispose of the anomaly standing there. Nearby, a Vector—the unfortunate result of failed experiments—raises an unnaturally muscled arm tipped with sharp claws, ready to tear into the nearest human. The man continues yelling, barking orders at an almost impressive word per second.
It all happened so quickly. From what you can tell, this should've been a mundane experiment. But the restraints malfunctioned at the same time a test subject completed their transformation into a Vector. You think it serves them right.
At the same time, you were also told that your purpose was to aid them in their goals. For humanity's future. Your existence is a boon to them. Your helping hand theirs.
Reluctantly, you raise your arm, about to use psychokinesis to move the researcher away from the rampaging Vector. With your refined control, it should be easy enough to take care of this situation without either side getting hurt. But then he says something that makes you pause.
"Stop ignoring me! Kill it! I don't want to die!"
Something in your blood runs cold. The sight in front of you seems to shift a little, feel a little slower. There's a weight in your chest that keeps increasing. Really? He's going to say all of that in the same breath? When his own carelessness led him into this situation? And "it"? He saw with his own eyes what they used to be. You barely know this man, but you've seen his face around enough. He's not oblivious to the truth behind the Vectors.
And yet he says all of that. Like he doesn't deserve this. Like they deserve all this.
Who are they to decide this for you?
The ice in your veins freezes you. The timing to pull the researcher out of the way passes. The Vector's claws plunge into the man's guts. He screams, falling to the floor with an almost comical thud. The sound should be an alarm, but you don't feel the call to help as keenly as before. Suddenly, the screams shift to something more reminiscent of bleating.
You back away. You know you were told to do something about this, but right now? You don't want to enforce their will. Why did you let them pull you here anyway? You wonder why you were trying to follow them in the first place. That Vector deserves to do whatever they want to that man.
Don't you also deserve to make that choice as well?
While you're staring at the sight, more people enter the room, screaming. All they do is add to the cacophony. Time passes as they try to get the situation under control. You stand there, watching them. You hear their pleas, but every time, you can't help but think that the Vector's rage is valid.
More bodies twist and turn, losing their shape as they're forcibly turned into their own failed experiments. Do they realize the irony in this? Maybe, maybe not. No matter the answer though, this chaos makes it easy to slip past them. That realization snaps you out of the haze in your mind. Someone tries to stop you from leaving, but you dodge the attempt. As long as they expect you to silence them, you don't want to be here.
As you speed down the hall, a true alarm goes off. This time the sound seems to pull everything you've been thinking these past few weeks into one whole lightbulb.
There's a distraction. You've snuck out enough to know the general layout of the colony. In fact, you've discovered an obscure way to leave Theta entirely. Not only that, you know there's another colony outside the walls, the one where the Vectors are being taken. And secretly, that there's one man living there in self-exile. You may not trust him, but Togo and Sana did, enough to entrust him with their safety and treasure. Everything's mostly in place.
Somehow, isn't this the perfect time to leave?
You suddenly stop at that thought.
But if it's really time to leave... The face of a boy bubbles up in your mind, smiling even as his eye bleeds. Smiling because he wanted the favor of the researchers and thought pushing himself would make them turn his way. Something in your stomach churns.
Immediately changing course, you run towards the building you know the boy—Yukinami—stays in around this time. Memories of Yukinami swirl inside your brain, simultaneously warm and cold. You don't think you're mistaken about how he'd respond, but your mind won't stop offering other possibilities. It's not like they talked as much as he did to Togo, back in the day.
And as if everything today wasn't a sign already, you immediately spot him running out of the building alongside some of their fellow test subjects. You raise your voice just enough for him to hear you, and of course he notices immediately, turning his head in your direction. When you beckon towards yourself, he disengages from the crowd, running towards you instead.
Good, they don't have much time to stand here. This time, you hold out your hand towards him. You're not entirely sure why you're doing it like this, but something about it feels right to you. So you might as well.
"Yukinami, if I told you we could leave now, what would you do?" You peer at his face, his false eye, not quite knowing what you're searching for. It's not like you're unaware of what his answer will be.
"Leave with you, of course." The answer's almost immediate, as expected. He easily takes your hand. Even though you predicted his words, hearing it makes you smile for the first time today, something like relief spreading through your joined hands. But it doesn't erase the weight in your chest. "So where to?"
"Somewhere not here." All you know right now is that you can't stay here any longer. You don't know if this will help him. You don't even know if this will help yourself. Is this even the right choice? Who knows? But in your heart, surely killing the Vector in their name wasn't the right one. (Then what would've been okay?)
Ah, no, the two of you can't just stand there. It's time to move. Like you just said, you have to leave now. You can think more about this strange weight inside of you some other time.
Hand in hand, you start to lead Yukinami away from the building, the colony, this life of theirs. And so the memory starts to fade. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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If they hadn't walked where they had, he might have asked Ibuki if he was really sure he wanted to touch his hands after all of that. But they're past that. He can't and won't offer words of comfort either, but that's fine too isn't it? He can offer other things, but more importantly (and obviously, especially to himself), he wants to offer them. ]
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[ He lets his own fingers curl around as well, feelings swirling around his mind growing more positive. The cold of resentment slowly recedes to the background, a chill still there but no longer overpowering. Yeah, this is what he wanted to do. It's what little he can offer with what he has now. And there's nothing wrong with that, he thinks as he looks at Shigaraki's face.
The world may be cruel and indifferent, but he's starting to realize that he doesn't want it to take this away from him. ]
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[ A smile spreads across his lips, content and pleased. ]
All that stuff you saw, that's why I wanna destroy everything. To destroy what that house stood for, I gotta destroy it all. [ His fingers twitch slightly just thinking about it. ]
But it's also for the fun of it all too. I'm doin' it for me. Just like this.
[ His fingers curl a bit tighter. ]
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Mmhm, they had their time; they can deal with us showing them what we think of their symbols. Not like it should be a surprise anyway. It's a long time coming. So might as well enjoy doing what you got to do.
[ His own smile gets a little wider, happy at the sight of Shigaraki's. It's easier to breathe now. ]
Yeah, just like this.
[ He squeezes his hand lightly, content with the feeling. ]
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Oh, yeah, speaking of symbols—I said I'd show you the other hand, right? [ Hm, well he can do this one handed and that's far as his logic extends to hand holding, so. He reaches into his pocket to pull out one (1) male adult sized hand, somewhere a mix between taxidermied and artificial appearance wise. ]
I used to wear these all the time as a reminder, but all of 'em are gone now besides this one, my father's. It's just an accessory, but I haven't felt like wearin' it.
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May they continue to be themselves until the very end. ]
I remember.
[ Ah yes, that day. He recalls the beeps of Paperboy, the sweet taste of the cupcake, and of course, the discussion about his Master. Turning his head to the extra hand in the area, he peers at it with curious eyes. Not disgusted or disturbed, simply intrigued at the new sight. Some lingering resentment stirs when he mentions it's his father's hand, but it feels filtered through a sort of sieve now. It doesn't reach his expression at all. ]
Looks kind of cool after all. [ Putting what it is aside, hands are pretty cool. ] But right, accessories are optional for a reason? No harm in keeping it somewhere when not in use.
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Yeah, but I was wonderin' if I should get a new accessory. I wouldn't know what to get though cuz these were given to me.
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[ His tone is joking, since even he's kind of aware that hands aren't a typical accessory. Not that he's one to mind human norms much, but still. It definitely stands out in a crowd. He wonders how that went over.
That aside, Ibuki tilts his head to the side, going through a list of accessories in his mind. ]
If you want to? I'm probably not the best to ask for recommendations. Usually I only wear my charm as an earring. [ He gestures towards the earring on his right ear with his free hand. ] But if it helps, these can come as bracelets, necklaces, phone charms, and watches.
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[ He cocks his head at the gesture and the charm, thinking more. ]
It'd have to be sturdy whatever it is. Property damage goes along with the whole destruction thing. [ Which is to say as a shounen, he rarely escapes combat nowadays without losing at least part of his wardrobe, getting burned, tossed around, you name it. It's all in good fun. ]
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[ The joys of being a magical girl with all the rules it implies. ]
Almost anything can get blown up if you try hard enough though. Even something like hair extensions. [ Maybe this is why he usually doesn't wear many accessories, now that he thinks about it. ] Yuuki's friend wears nail polish, but it'd probably chip off in a fight? Rings can get caught in something...
[ Huh, this is tougher than he thought? ]
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[ Because of course he's punching something. ]
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A necklace might work? But I dunno of what. Keychains not bad either, but same thing.
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I'm not wearing a mushroom.
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A shell is funner to use.
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Shells are useful yeah, but they don't fit my image.
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Point taken. [ Shigakoopa... ] I'm sure you can think of one eventually if you still feel like it later? Ideas always seem to pop up in the most unexpected ways.
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[ Look, self awareness! And since they're still holding hands, he uses one of fingers to poke Ibuki's hand. See, that's how they got here too. ]
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Yeah, we're living in the present, so might as well take the pickups as they come.
[ Like new words for his vocabulary pool. It has expanded in a strange direction since he came here, that's for sure. ]
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[ The stupid fancy melon. ]
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Sure, can't waste a melon that's right there. Let's break it apart now.
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[ Time to find out! He'll need his hand back to divide the melon and...I'd love to say he had the foresight to bring a knife but he does not. Thankfully he uh. Does have the strength to literally rip this melon in two?
This is fine. Here's your half of the melon Ibuki. ]
1/2
[ Honestly, ripping it by hand was his first thought as well. Hurray for the ability to self-augment his physical strength. But since Shigaraki beat him to it, Ibuki simply takes his half and takes a bite.
Before he can form and voice an opinion though, he's distracted by a memory surrounds them yet again. ]
2/2 cw: body horror, questionable fanfic (thanks yashima)
"Take care of this already!"
The researchers' voices ring in your ears, an alarm you're not supposed to ignore. You know what they mean: they want you to dispose of the anomaly standing there. Nearby, a Vector—the unfortunate result of failed experiments—raises an unnaturally muscled arm tipped with sharp claws, ready to tear into the nearest human. The man continues yelling, barking orders at an almost impressive word per second.
It all happened so quickly. From what you can tell, this should've been a mundane experiment. But the restraints malfunctioned at the same time a test subject completed their transformation into a Vector. You think it serves them right.
At the same time, you were also told that your purpose was to aid them in their goals. For humanity's future. Your existence is a boon to them. Your helping hand theirs.
Reluctantly, you raise your arm, about to use psychokinesis to move the researcher away from the rampaging Vector. With your refined control, it should be easy enough to take care of this situation without either side getting hurt. But then he says something that makes you pause.
"Stop ignoring me! Kill it! I don't want to die!"
Something in your blood runs cold. The sight in front of you seems to shift a little, feel a little slower. There's a weight in your chest that keeps increasing. Really? He's going to say all of that in the same breath? When his own carelessness led him into this situation? And "it"? He saw with his own eyes what they used to be. You barely know this man, but you've seen his face around enough. He's not oblivious to the truth behind the Vectors.
And yet he says all of that. Like he doesn't deserve this. Like they deserve all this.
Who are they to decide this for you?
The ice in your veins freezes you. The timing to pull the researcher out of the way passes. The Vector's claws plunge into the man's guts. He screams, falling to the floor with an almost comical thud. The sound should be an alarm, but you don't feel the call to help as keenly as before. Suddenly, the screams shift to something more reminiscent of bleating.
You back away. You know you were told to do something about this, but right now? You don't want to enforce their will. Why did you let them pull you here anyway? You wonder why you were trying to follow them in the first place. That Vector deserves to do whatever they want to that man.
Don't you also deserve to make that choice as well?
While you're staring at the sight, more people enter the room, screaming. All they do is add to the cacophony. Time passes as they try to get the situation under control. You stand there, watching them. You hear their pleas, but every time, you can't help but think that the Vector's rage is valid.
More bodies twist and turn, losing their shape as they're forcibly turned into their own failed experiments. Do they realize the irony in this? Maybe, maybe not. No matter the answer though, this chaos makes it easy to slip past them. That realization snaps you out of the haze in your mind. Someone tries to stop you from leaving, but you dodge the attempt. As long as they expect you to silence them, you don't want to be here.
As you speed down the hall, a true alarm goes off. This time the sound seems to pull everything you've been thinking these past few weeks into one whole lightbulb.
There's a distraction. You've snuck out enough to know the general layout of the colony. In fact, you've discovered an obscure way to leave Theta entirely. Not only that, you know there's another colony outside the walls, the one where the Vectors are being taken. And secretly, that there's one man living there in self-exile. You may not trust him, but Togo and Sana did, enough to entrust him with their safety and treasure. Everything's mostly in place.
Somehow, isn't this the perfect time to leave?
You suddenly stop at that thought.
But if it's really time to leave... The face of a boy bubbles up in your mind, smiling even as his eye bleeds. Smiling because he wanted the favor of the researchers and thought pushing himself would make them turn his way. Something in your stomach churns.
Immediately changing course, you run towards the building you know the boy—Yukinami—stays in around this time. Memories of Yukinami swirl inside your brain, simultaneously warm and cold. You don't think you're mistaken about how he'd respond, but your mind won't stop offering other possibilities. It's not like they talked as much as he did to Togo, back in the day.
And as if everything today wasn't a sign already, you immediately spot him running out of the building alongside some of their fellow test subjects. You raise your voice just enough for him to hear you, and of course he notices immediately, turning his head in your direction. When you beckon towards yourself, he disengages from the crowd, running towards you instead.
Good, they don't have much time to stand here. This time, you hold out your hand towards him. You're not entirely sure why you're doing it like this, but something about it feels right to you. So you might as well.
"Yukinami, if I told you we could leave now, what would you do?" You peer at his face, his false eye, not quite knowing what you're searching for. It's not like you're unaware of what his answer will be.
"Leave with you, of course." The answer's almost immediate, as expected. He easily takes your hand. Even though you predicted his words, hearing it makes you smile for the first time today, something like relief spreading through your joined hands. But it doesn't erase the weight in your chest. "So where to?"
"Somewhere not here." All you know right now is that you can't stay here any longer. You don't know if this will help him. You don't even know if this will help yourself. Is this even the right choice? Who knows? But in your heart, surely killing the Vector in their name wasn't the right one. (Then what would've been okay?)
Ah, no, the two of you can't just stand there. It's time to move. Like you just said, you have to leave now. You can think more about this strange weight inside of you some other time.
Hand in hand, you start to lead Yukinami away from the building, the colony, this life of theirs. And so the memory starts to fade. ]
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no ones reading this anymore right? yes, good
i'll know someone is when kao suddenly messages me
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