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.LOCATIONS
Mar. 3rd, 2023 09:49 pmLOCATIONS
!MAPS
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SUNGEM'S PEAK
!MAIN RESORT AREA
Each of the tiny rustic cabanas clustered by the main building beckons invitingly, and each comes with both a door knocker and a key decorated with a bird themed after its name, so there’s no need to worry that you’ll ever mix up your keys! Take shelter from the elements or freshen up from a day in the ocean in a cozy one-bedroom (and it is very cozy, with just enough room to get around without tripping over each other – mostly) fully decked out with 2 queen size beds, a large dresser with 4 roomy personal storage drawers and one hefty color-changeable lava lamp, a full bath with shower and a closet with 4 complimentary sets of Hawaiian shirts, short shorts and swimwear and towels for your every beach bum need.
Yes, this sleeps 4 – yes, there's only 2 beds. Cabana assignments are here.
Each cabana also has its own mini-deck with 2 lounge chairs, just in case you’re not getting enough sun; and if for whatever reason you feel like spending the night or a nap en plein air, there’s some comfy hammocks nearby as well. Just make sure no wildlife has claimed one as their own first.
Take your pick from cheeseburgers to pot roast, sushi to nikujaga, with a wide variety of light and heavy dishes to satiate every appetite (besides outright demonic ones). The cuisine is a clean-cut divide between Western (American, European) and Eastern (Japanese), and includes a wide selection of drinks and juices, and of course, dessert. There’s also a colorful, wee bar of tropical-themed food decorations, complete with tiny toothpick umbrellas in every color of the rainbow, plastic tropical birds, miniature replicas of the robots on staff, and who knows what else; all oozing an odd, tourist-grabbing charm.
A dining area is located directly adjacent to the buffet, and behind a particularly large cut out of a flamingo is an industrial kitchen serviced by cooking robots who are happy to let you cook your own meals if you're the self-sufficient type.
Standard washers and dryers, with a persistent and inescapable tropical scent to complete the inescapable island vibe. All of your clothing will smell like coconut detergent and there’s nothing you can really do about it. There's even a swimsuit dryer so you don't ruin your bathing suits by putting them in the dryer, nice.
The shelves are deep and fathomless, and about as useful as you’d expect. Magnets, overpriced t-shirts, towels in every pattern imaginable but especially birds, and tchotchkes galore. Most of the island themed merchandise has a sungem or two or fifty or is just straight up tropical bird themed, including the stationery. The frankly obscene selection of pens pairs with an army of kitschy postcards with bizarre messages like “TAKE THE SUN INTO YOUR OWN HANDS” or “MAKE YOUR MAKERS”. Very inspirational. There’s also a frankly horrifying selection of singing fake fish along with actual fishing gear (that does not sing – probably). And if you're too lazy to walk to the buffet, a decent selection of junk food, including doritos and energy drinks can be grabbed to go.
For the fitness junkies who need to work out every morning and maybe every night; why would you do this when you’ve got plenty of island to explore and plenty of ocean to tread water in?! The ruminations of jocks and joggers are beyond mere mortals. The treadmills, bench and weights, ellipticals and stairs are spread out across the room, along with an area for stretching or just pretending to work out while you catch up on the network. There’s a section for punching bags, a little mock arena for sparring practice (or just general beating each other up under the guise of exercise practice), a collection of balls of all shapes and sizes that are probably better used outside, and what appears to be a small test aquarium tank for anyone who wants to practice with the single set of practice scuba gear available.
The bar itself is open air and faces the beach, allowing full contemplation of the surf and the foolhardiness of your fellow beachgoers while you sip a nice margarita or piña colada; the wave of refreshing and relaxing superiority wouldn’t be complete without it, after all. There’s every kind of hard liquor/lemonade/tea, wine and beer and whatnot imaginable stocked here, with the more delicate flavors judiciously shielded from the glare of the sun. Mixers as well as non-alcoholic beverages are tucked below the bar. There’s a small stock of drink decorations and silly straws here too, though the majority of the stock is at the buffet and the pool, respectively.
The main feature, aside from the lovely bottles of booze, is the large variety of glasses and cups made from various materials and in every hue: from the traditional wineglass all the way to unusual tiki trends, barrels the size of small furry woodland creatures that you can apparently drink out of, giant glass tubes, strange beverage boats… unsurprisingly there’s also a whole set of bird-shaped drinkware. The bartender robots are capable of making extremely basic drinks (think 3 ingredients or less), though you’re on your own if you’re looking for anything more complex.
It's a bathroom, and it's unisex. đźš» is the symbol for them around the resort!
OUTSIDE MAIN RESORT AREA
A lush, verdant garden, filled with various flora and fauna but also… statues?? It appears that every structure here is made of glass, or at least pieces of glass, and these funny works of art may be the key to why: they’re constructed from either intact or not-so-intact alcohol bottles, as though to attest to the grand party that must once have been held day and night in this resort. There’s still a stray bottle or two littering the place, but the vast majority has been assembled into glittering, waist-high replicas of… you guessed it, birds, robots, marine life… If you’re feeling artistic, perhaps you’d like to add to the organized chaos?
Flowers of all varieties surround a bubble fountain with benches to relax and enjoy the view; the fountain itself is filled with currency and a pack of small and industrious colorful fish that enjoy nibbling on toes. Most of the species in the garden itself are tropical, though there is an herb garden in the back, labeled with little name tags so you don't mix up basil and mint, or rosary pea with garden peas.
As of the beginning of week four, a small memorial has been setup in one of the quieter spots of the garden, a driftwood marker bearing Merlin's name complete with a paper flower, Chai's name and a paper cat, and a marker reading Sonya with three white birds One of the bottle statues is also conspicuously missing.
Moreover, for those more adventurous in the water there’s a convenient stash of all kinds of beach equipment: an extra floaty or two from the pool, boogie boards, frisbees, beach balls, extra towels, and more. Two small outhouses provide both bathrooms and changing areas, and there are outdoor showers as well to rinse off nearby.
Get everything you need to enjoy your vacation in style, from swimsuits, sun hats, sandals (slippers), and various hot weather attire, including aloha shirts. The shop also has a vast collection of sunglasses in all shapes, sizes and styles, some of which may have been out of fashion a few hundred years before the modern era. Other beach accessories like umbrellas, sunscreen, and beach bags are also available. Rounding out the shelves is a veritable pyramid of fluffy monogrammed towels, similar to the ones already provided in your cabanas, now with different prints and patterns!
The book cafe provides a peaceful oasis in the hustle and bustle of vacationing and party animals: there’s a cozy indoors library nook that stocks light reading (comics, magazines, nature, photography, yoga techniques, think coffee table books) as well as all sorts of board games and card games, and a small collection of classical CDs that can be played on a chunky stereo. The default music appears to be recorded birdsong, which somewhat clashes with how many live birds are around the place. Outside the nook, there’s a simple coffee bar – 2 coffee machines, plentiful beans and a selection of cute mugs are on hand to serve excellent cuppas under knitted awnings decorated with real plants and occasional glimpses of sunny skies. Tiny gazebos dot the front of the cafe, each furnished with plush wicker armchairs and low tables for that double sip of espresso salted with sea breeze.
A rather antiquated set of rail tracks that leads from the main island outward. Once, this might have conveyed trains or trolleys or carts or some other faster method of transport, but now it’s rather overgrown and serves only as a footpath to get over the water – which may be better than nothing. It’s a solid land bridge between the islands, carefully maintained by the robots that are also using it (please give them the right of way!). That said, while you’re on this bridge, you can’t see the island you’re coming from nor the island you’re going to, so it gives a real feel of walking on water in the middle of nowhere. May be a little bit disorienting, but lovely for viewing uninterrupted sunrises and sunsets.
SEAGULL'S PLAYGROUND
From retro games like Donkey Kong, to more modern titles like House of the Dead, this arcade is well stocked across various genres. There's pinball machines, dance machines, light gun games, fighting games, racing games, prize games and even a virtual poker game or two. And if console games are more your style, a PS3, Gamecube, and Xbox are hooked up in the back to a large flat screen TV. Yes, you can play Mario Party and then actually murder someone over it.
It might not be a proper highway, but you can still take one of the colorful go-karts out for a joy ride around the track, or a race if being competitive is more your thing. Due to space limitations, there’s only 2 tracks: one for beginners, with an easy circular build and standard colorful island decorations, and then what seems like an intermediate level built more like a video game track than anything else: there’s no crazy loop-de-loops, but there are bumps, twists, unexpected obstacles and even a pretty strong hosedown near the end. This one is themed more like outer space, complete with warp tunnels (in aesthetic only, dark with glowing star patterns to navigate by) and miniature spaceships and asteroids acting as obstacles. A camera by the finish line even captures the photo finish, printed out on a polaroid, for those who want proof of their victory (or defeat). A small concession stand with your standard sweets and snacks is also on the grounds, along with a (somewhat cramped) seating area for those who would rather cheer their favorite driver on.
The golf course may be nominally miniature-sized, but there’s enough room on this island for more than one course: not only are there actual themed courses like pirates, zombies, dinosaurs and even candyland, they’re intricate enough to look like their own play areas, full of loop-de-loops and funny mechanisms and multiple levels right up to just above average head’s height. There’s even a miniature jungle should you want more of a taste of the Cretaceous with your little line drive. Also, there are fun-shaped irons and even unusually-shaped balls if you want a less orthodox game. With the amount of structures and sprawling size of the complex, it’s no wonder there are also golf carts available, each bedecked with an inexplicable but very festively dressed skeleton in a Hawaiian shirt in the back seat.
There’s nothing quite like karaoke to wind down after a day splashing about in the sun and the shallows; most of the setup is indoors, due to the sensitive nature of the equipment, but each room faces oceanward and features a wall-to-wall window with a view of the surf; these windows are in fact glass doors that can be opened for a whiff of sea breeze and singing loudly at the ocean. Just remember to close them if you value your karaoke hours. There’s a mini-bar with drinks (principally beer, sake and soju) and bar snacks located per room, beautiful plush leather seating, a large flat-screen on the wall to follow videos and lyrics, and a fancy mic setup that allows up to four people to sing at once. Oh, and of course: a light-up disco ball. Moreover, the soundproofing in this place is unmatched: no matter how many people are crammed in the room next to you, you’ll never hear them without the windows open.
KINGFISHER'S RETREAT
A place for pampering, or to find zen in yoga or meditation. Everything from nail polish to makeup, facial masks to hair styling products and whole body treatment can be found in the beauty section of the spa, while the wellness section has space and equipment for yoga, pilates, barre, along with a massage bed to ease sore muscles after a hard workout. There’s also a sound system and stereo providing a wide variety of soothing background noise from whale calls to fireplace crackles to rain to reassuring voices reading what sounds like a phonebook. Higher end fitness clothes can also be found here, along with the plushest towels the resort has to offer.
Thanks to its proximity to both natural rock and water features, the spa also offers beauty treatment inside a small sea cave that allows for both steam areas and cooling, green communal relaxation grottos. The sound of water running can always be heard throughout the entire space, providing a natural soundtrack for relaxation.
Tired of sharing a single bath between four people?
And after (though etiquette says rinse yourself before!) your soak, enjoy one of the private showers along with fresh fruit and water for those who've begun to prune. Round out your relaxation with a session in the sauna, or if you're crazy, the cold plunge which is kept at a brisk 50F/10C.
Just in case you hadn’t had enough of the aerial wildlife, there’s an entire aviary for your perusal right here – it’s even divided into several substructures. This is where you’ll find the non-tropical and non-seabird species, including various species of raptors(!) and eagles and owls as well as other predators, flightless birds (no ostriches, but there are emus), various species of parrot, and even larger scavengers like vultures. Of course, there’s no shortage of waterfowl spread throughout the place as well, with an emphasis on freshwater species such as herons, cranes, and a truly extraordinary amount of ducks; just watch for the geese as well.
This is one of the lushest places on the islands, with foliage and canopies allowed to run wild for the birds to play in – you could get lost entirely in a world of your own if you go deep enough. There are kittybots available to provide bird feed in case you really want to get friendly with the wildlife, and a good number of benches and water features to keep everything climate controlled and well-moisturized. There’s a small area near the aviary entrance that’s just a nook with extra-specialized bird books and bird-themed merchandise like plushies, whistles and crystal jewelry.
There’s a whole waterfall on this island along with all the other water features, perhaps fittingly; it’s a beautiful, tall curtain of water ensconced in the same natural rock formations as the spa – though as to whether they share nourishing mineral properties, no one knows. The falls are high enough to be affected by the sea breeze, especially at sunset, when the light hits just right to create both rainbows and an extraordinary shadow play on the cliffs. The drop is sheer enough to be called The Plunge, The Dive, or even just a test of sobriety for anyone standing at its edge; there’s a deep, jewel-colored pool at the bottom just awaiting those with the courage to take the leap, icy cold and surrounded by beautiful, hidden-away crystal formations.
In addition to kittybots at the top and bottom to help guide any divers, there’s a small hut with refreshments (yes, there’s alcohol, but nothing stronger than a hard seltzer), a supply of towels, and congratulatory t-shirts featuring mottos like “LEAP OF FAITH OR LEAP OF FATE?” and “WORLD’S DEEPEST DIVE BAR”.
DODO'S OUTLOOK
This is much more like a theater complex than a movie theater or a stage theater; it’s really all of the above, plus it comes complete with a ballroom! The outside is decorated about as classically as you’d expect, a mixture of massive Greek columns and statuary interspersed with strangely more tropical decorations featuring – you guessed it – feathered friends, though these seem to focus on birds of culture such as ibises, cranes and ravens. Set against the backdrop of the palm trees and actual outdoors tropics, you could mistake it for some kind of Ind*ana J*nes set piece, perhaps appropriately enough. Also, each part of the complex comes with its own flawless soundproofing for your artistic pleasure.
The interior boasts only one theater for movies, but it’s lavishly appointed with plush reclinable seats, surround sound, and the perfect darkness for film appreciation once the lights have dimmed. There’s also a concessions stand with every flavor of popcorn you could possibly want (butter, caramel, zebra, parmesan…) as well as some you might not want so much (marmite, ketchup, jalapeno…), soft drinks, and other finger foods such as chicken nuggets or sliders. The selection may leave something to be desired, as the only things playing seem to be either crime thrillers, hard sci-fi, or for some reason Mamma Mia.
The stage theater is likewise lovely and boasts plenty of tiered seats for easy viewing; backstage comes complete with an excellent range of lighting, set props and stage costumes, though oddly most of them seem to focus on traditional Japanese aesthetic.
The ballroom is fairly small, given the size of the other offerings, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in polish and decor; the entire place is appointed in gold, ivory and burnished mahogany, lit with crystal sconces and eccentric cloud-like light fixtures. There are tiny tables set up along the periphery with a little army of candelabra and surprisingly excellent charcuterie boards. Moreover, the pride of place goes to the ensemble of instruments set up and ready to be played, just about enough for an entire orchestra – a small one, granted, but it looks almost like a musical ensemble got up for a break and never sat down again.
It’s not an island vacation without a visit to the aquarium, especially since the offerings for going out into the ocean and truly communing with the singing fish are rather slim; this is your chance to really get acquainted with what’s beneath the waves (maybe?). There’s the almost-standard gigantic water can of sardines set right at the front, a flashing silver maelstrom of constant swimming, the real perpetual motion machine. Stare into it long enough and you’ll feel like all the fish are watching you, but that’s probably just how the fish here are. The rest of the structure isn’t nearly as huge as the theater complex, but it is impressively couched in a soothing darkness lit only by those little directional lights on the floor and the dim underwater lighting of the various tanks, a hush quite different from a library but just about as effective.
The biggest selection you’ll find is crustaceans (there’s so many shrimp here, guys, are they getting them from here for the buffet), but there’s also a bigger tank in the back with a viewing window just slightly taller than twice the average person’s height where all the tropical fish and ocean floor fish (rays, soles, and so on) are displayed. Nothing here is larger than a sea bass, but there’s even a few small sharks slithering about if you look real hard, and the turtles seem to like dancing for visitors.
There’s also one jellyfish display, small but illuminated perfectly to showcase the blood-red jellies swirling and swimming about.
The compact little planetarium is set on higher ground, unsurprisingly, though it’s more like a promontory than a cliff; the steps and scaffolding around the outside present an excellent view of the ocean, though you still can’t spot any other islands from here. There are two levels inside: the first level has a small seating area furnished with couches and coffee tables along with a basic selection of coffee, tea and baked goods; there’s a gift shop nearby that carries 101-level books on both astronomy and astrology(!), as well as cute models of the solar system and other space-themed trinkets. Every morning you can find the kitty bots hanging the horoscopes of the day. There are also small telescopes here, but nothing particularly high-powered.
That pride of place goes to the larger telescope that dominates the second floor; it’s possible to open the dome during a starry night and have a good look at the moon and the planets out there, and the smattering of stars that still don’t quite match up with anything that you know of. Even the constellations don’t actually match up with the astrology in the books. Huh.
KAKAPO'S NEST
You really could have used this weeks ago?? But hey, better late than never: the infirmary is now here for all your medical and emergency needs! There’s a total of twelve beds here, though they’re the standard infirmary gurneys, along with a couple of folded up stretchers, IV equipment, defibrillators, and a cabinet of unusually varied restraints – some of these are hard to imagine for use on humans, but that’s neither here nor there. First-aid kits are easily accessible, stocked upon shelves on the wall, and provide the basic complement of bandages, bandaids, ointment, antiseptic wipes, etc.
A storage room in the back contains extra bedding, shock blankets, gloves and other necessities, plus another cabinet chock-full of painkillers of varying strengths, herbal supplements, cough medicines, sleeping pills and more. There’s an attached bathroom with showers, presumably for the convenience of both erstwhile patients and staff. Speaking of staff, there’s kittybots on patrol here with nurse hats, for some reason, and they’re also versed in CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. They’re not very delicate, though, so try not to set them off accidentally.
The snow room lives up to its name: it’s a room that seems dedicated to producing snow, creating a thick blanket of white that piles up in little hillocks in the nice open plan here. It’s not huge, but it’s not small, either – allowing a little piece of winter into the islands with a few benches for those who would rather view the snow rather than play in it. There’s a few snowblowers built into the walls that can be turned on at will if anyone wants to bury themselves further, along with a decent supply of winter wear, some small shovels and buckets and snow molds in varying shapes and sizes tucked away in what look like shipping containers for the occasion.
The cold storage here may explain why there’s a decent supply of fresh food on the island, but there’s so many freezers and drawers in the gigantic walk-in cold rooms that it’s impossible to explore them all; and you really don’t want to get accidentally locked in here. Luckily, just outside is a storage locker containing specialized coats and gloves so you can at least nip in and out without getting nippy. Diving deeper into the storage containers will reveal well-preserved specimens of most of the flora and fauna you’ve seen on the islands, tagged and arranged for later study that apparently never came; going even deeper than that will reveal an array of locked boxes and locked doors that are not only guarded by physical security and naggy catbots but also actually frozen solid behind walls of surprisingly sturdy ice.
Hey, did you have enough of labs, or are you ready for ROUND TWO? Fear not, this laboratory has relatively little in common with the waterfall literal hole-in-the-wall that gave you so much grief – a look around will reveal that it’s much better stocked, has much less by way of mystery machines with mystery platforms and mystery readings… In fact, those who are familiar with such things will recognize it as a basic chemistry lab first of all. There’s a wall just for glassware and roomy sinks to wash them and other portable equipment in – beakers, flasks, graduated cylinders, you name it, the glass wall’s got it. Drawers and cabinets below the countertops will reveal a wealth of other equipment: racks, forceps, bunsen burners, and so on. There’s also plenty of gas lines, balances for days, and of course a stack of Chem 101 books that seem to focus specifically on toxic, corrosive and flammable substances. Can’t forget: there’s also an excellent supply of chemicals, though most of them aren’t in large enough supply to mass produce anything – just enough to learn the craft, maybe get in a sample or two.