[ He goes along with the swinging since he's not entirely unfamiliar with it given Toga's everything. Not that he contributes much to it, but there's an acceptance there, the energy from it giving away to a kind of smile. ]
But she was pretty tilted this week. I guess that's what rage quitting from her looks like? [ It's said with an amused tone, but also actual thought. He's not sure what was going on with her besides a mess, which is kinda funny because he's awful. But on the other hand, he finds it a bit confusing too.
And unlike Lobelia's trial, he's not in the position to be there to poke it out of her. ]
[ Yeah, that's not a surprise. Moravia slowly drops the swinging speed back to their usual position, feeling like humming all the while. ]
Seems like it. I do like that she finally started confronting me, but it seems she decided to go a few steps farther. Was she always like that?
[ Funny, she's both amused and thoughtful on the topic of Lacus. They probably spent more time playing Mario Kart than actually talking at this point, not that it bothers her much. She's not one to delve in deeply into someone like that. ]
[ He might as well think about it now that they're on the topic. It doesn't take him long to string some thoughts together, however inaccurate they might be. ]
Well she thought that we're alike. But kinda polar opposites too? I think it was that we're both determined to make the world we wanna see. [ Which he pulls a face at because he is not making anything, just destroying, but it's easier to frame it like that.
He turns to her then, while keeping their rhythm. ]
[ Yeah, it's something she wants to sort her thoughts about as well. Might as well get it out of the way now. ]
Make the world, huh? Strange way to put it. I guess determination isn't wrong, but...hmm.
[ She actually hums out loud this time, thinking as they continue their stroll. ]
From my point of view: is it really making the world if their society is smashed so hard they can't pick up the pieces? Because that's what I'm looking for.
[ Coexistence is a pipe dream after all. If they're gone, the Vectors can live on, finally free from those who would hurt them. ]
[ He laughs at that, it reverbating to his bones and deeper still. This is why he feels the way he does about both of them. ]
Exactly! There's no world where everyone is happy, no matter how you go 'bout it. So take your happiness but don't try to make believe it works for everyone cuz it doesn't.
Society won't accept us, so we'll destroy it until there's nothing left to do the accepting in the first place.
[ She grins at that, eyes and mouth sharp like knives. Yeah, this is why she's drawn to him, the urge to shatter a society that shuns their very existence. ]
Yeah, you're right. A single solution that makes everyone happy will never exist.
[ Even among the Vectors, she can't say that all of them wouldn't mourn the loss of humans. Yuuki, that empathetic soul, probably would struggle to accept such a reality. But how else can they live in that hostile world? ]
The world is indifferent to the feelings of others. We might as well take what we want from its remains.
[ Something about such a clear answer fills her with a joy she can't describe. ]
[ She squeezes his hand back, trying not to think too hard about how much longer this will last. How much longer she can walk with him on this island. Still, no need to let the melancholy of a possible future settle in. It's better to focus on the fun of the present, one day at a time. ]
...speaking of stopping. What do you wanna play next week? I don't think he's gonna fix the arcade so I'll have to bring something.
[ They can get back to serious talks if they want later, he's just going along with his thoughtstream. There's still whatever Shuda was doing, Lacus aside.
It's also kinda funny how he warned Lacus in a way in regards to associating with him in public, but how with her it's kinda the opposite somehow. ]
[ Well, that thoroughly distracts her for now. Her smile gets a little wry at the thought of the arcade staying in ruins, especially with how much overall time she's spent in there. ]
Hmm, surprise me? I do enjoy your taste in video games. They've all been pretty easy to pick up and play.
[ Even if everything's coming to a head, the rest of the serious talk can come later, yes. ]
[ Honestly he's not thrilled with it either, but since he knows they can still play it's fine. It's not nearly as bad as being on the run with the League and having nothing but tic tac toe or cards. ]
Sure, I'll figure out something. Anything you wanna pick then? In general.
[ He's not really sure what he's asking but he feels the need to ask it, so he does. ]
[ hdu ask him to explain his vague and confusing words!?!?!
anyway. he really isn't one to look towards the future, but he also is used to preparing for things too. pre-potting and buffing, all that good stuff. after all, rushing into things unprepared is why he lost so many things starting out. the hideout, magne, kurogiri. and from these losses hes mourned from them in his way, grown, gotten better at not taking things for granted.
he doesn't know sadness or sorrow, but he does know how to appreciate what he has. as much as he leaves the past behind, it's still shaped him. that he carries with him, like all the hands he once did. he has no need for the future but he has need for the present, in continuing to move forward and take things, hold things, even if he can't understand them and never will.
so he looks at her and smiles, one of his rare soft ones that he has no right to wear, but does anyway. ]
Anything you wanna do on the island. Or together. Or both. Really, whatever you want.
[ Something about the way that's phrased startles Moravia, metaphorically knocking her off balance. Almost non-metaphorically as well, but her sense of balance is pretty decent as long as hesitation isn't involved. Not to mention that she's still holding onto his hand, her grip a little tighter than before.
Flustered, her eyes start wandering as her mind goes into overdrive. She knows this can't last forever. There are a lot of parts they have to take care of for their own similar, yet separate goals. A lot of other souls they have to see in their own world. Like Yukinami and Hyuga for her, both awaiting her long-coming decision. She really kept them waiting long enough. And she won't forget about Yuuki and her friend, who she has also pledged her aid to. Not to mention the Vectors, all of whom could use her help to coordinate. There's so much for her to do.
She knows all this and refuses to forget them. Theta and the other colonies must fall no matter what, without any pieces to pick up after. But she can't really deny that she also feels a connection here now, something unthinkable for her weeks ago. Like a lot of things really. Something about her emotions now feel less muted. Maybe not to the point that it can be described as vibrant, but even she recognizes how lively she's been.
It troubles her, yet she can't hate it, much less let it go. ]
Then... [ She's not sure how to put this in words, but she tries with what she has. ] What if I said that even after this game—after we accomplish our goals—I'd want to walk with you like this again?
[ ...huh. he'd offered anything, but this isn't what he expected. they can both be metaphorically unbalanced, held upright by their joined hands. it's fitting, because this is how it all started, isn't it?
he has his goals that he'll do anything for, is doing anything for, not that he's ever been one to hold back in the first place. someone had asked him recently, what moravia was to him. he didn't have the answer then and he doesn't have the answer now, but he has known something for a while. she isn't a villain in the sense of the word when it comes to rankings, and she isn't an ally either; ironically their relationship isn't a working one, despite what some people on the island might think. their power dynamic should be unequal given who he is on this island and shigaraki has never forgotten that. he's the boss, he's one of the reasons they're here, repeating this cycle over and over again. but.
in that twisted way his mind works, he considers her his equal.
they understand each other, in a different way than anyone else has before. it doesn't matter to him that the connections are wired the wrong way or if what he's doing is wrong, odd, or even stupid; he'll do it anyway because it's what he wants to do.
so he considers the ask, rather than dismiss it. tries not to let the black hole that are his thoughts about the future reduce it to nothing. this he does, this he always will do for those he cares about.
he doesn't need to understand. ]
I'd say we should find a better waterfall to climb then, if I haven't destroyed 'em all. [ because that's where they've wound up as luck (hah) would have it, even if really he had no direction in mind. ]
Then again, maybe I'd wind up making more with decay? Then we'd have to go on more than one walk.
[ And all those previous thoughts were without this entire game in focus. With that in mind, everything becomes even more complicated to piece together, like the result of a sledgehammer to a pebble.
Her life hangs in a precarious balance. It's not like she's unaware she's courting death every week. Even more so after the night she killed Skywarp at the very waterfall they're standing around. That sealed her fate as a hidden public enemy, and yet she still feels no real urge to care. What's so different about the group as a whole and Theta scorning her for her choices? Not much really. Same old, same old, just in a different packaging.
Maybe she could've made things easier on her by avoiding all of that, but she wouldn't be herself then. She acts on her whims, and on that night, she was only particularly concerned with helping Shigaraki with his game and keeping the rest of the Toucans out of target range. And one of those reasons was a far bigger motivator, no offense intended to the other side, lovely as they are.
Ah, yes, the crux of all this: Shigaraki. Even with how removed she is in terms of typical relationships, she recognizes that there's something off-kilter in the way they made it to this point. But without that deviation, none of this would have happened in the first place. Their talks wouldn't have let her come to the realization of what she really wanted from herself and the world. That answer was something she was desperate to hear for as long as she could remember, to the detriment of everyone she knows back home. She couldn't have come up with it alone, her longing heart and unrealized sentimentality keeping her from pulling the trigger.
But now? Now she can pull that trigger, watch Theta and the other colonies crumble and fall. She doesn't need those what-ifs any longer, to wonder what could've come from Yuuki's idealism. The answer was always there all along: the destruction of the society that caused so much pain and suffering. With that comes the end of the superheroes upholding a blighted status quo, the freedom of Vectors to live as they please, the start of something truly new. She simply needed to embrace the urge to destroy as truly part of her.
Funny how all those realizations came about while talking with someone who, even now, could easily end her life.
Logically, she should worry more about someone as whimsical with the ability to kill her. But her logic's always been rather skewed, tempered irregularly by her upbringing and how early the researchers severed her from any sense of normalcy. In a way, him being open about violence from the start made him more comfortable to be around. She didn't need to wonder about his intentions, sure that her death was always in the cards. And that's particularly refreshing after dealing with all the masks everyone wears day in and out, apart and as a group.
Still, she never expected their conversations to become something she looks forward to, even to the point of sleep crimes. Nor did she guess that she would feel the urge to reach out to him, to lend him a hand. If anyone told her weeks ago that they'd end up playing video games with each other, holding hands, laughing together? She'd think they were delusional. And yet, here they are. The dice just rolled like that, somehow. And yet if she got the chance, she wouldn't change it for anything. How could she when, despite their differences, they can understand each other in a way she never thought she would for anyone else?
She wouldn't be the her standing here right now if she denies that she cares about him, knowing this could and would lead her to ruin. Messed up? Probably, but something tells her she doesn't need to understand why. The feeling is there, and that's what matters in the end, right?
And yet that melancholy still exists inside. But she steps forward despite the discordant beat. ]
If that's the case, I'd say that I'd join you on those walks no matter what the waterfall looks like. Or even if there isn't a waterfall, because I could've wrecked it as well.
[ he listens and he keeps leading, into the waterfall itself now in the same way he did a week ago, free hand decaying as he goes along. it doesn't look like he's following a path, just burrowing further and further into the bedrock. if anyone else finds this odd tunneling this week and wonders what this is and wastes time on it, he'll have a good laugh.
when they're far enough inside that the roar of the water is muffled to a quiet thrum, he stops. squeezes her hand gently. ]
That's enough hypotheticals. [ with his free hand he places a finger under her chin to tip her gaze up towards him. not that he thinks she's ever one to shy away, but this is important. ]
Moravia. I can't create things but I can take them, and I can take this for us. This island's tech aside, someone I gotta save can open portals to other places. I'll figure it out.
Is that what you want? [ maybe this is his other quirk speaking through him, the one he was raised to carry, all for one. it takes and it takes and it takes, but it can also give in a sense of the word if you ignore the moral implications. but when has that mattered to either of them? ]
[ Moravia follows the path of decay through and through, still clutching his hand. For all her worries, the idea of letting go here never once occurred to her. It didn't occur to her when she was five, wondering where the people she held dear disappeared to. And that's not getting into Yukinami, Hyuga, the Vectors and Yuuki, her hands still stretched towards them. Once she truly decides to reach out—to finally make up her mind—she won't go back on her word.
For all the effect he had on her, that's something that never changed. Despite the deaths, trials, and a skewed moral compass, this is how she always was.
And that's why she doesn't flinch away at his touch, looking him in the eyes again with a growing smile. Because despite the mixture of feelings in her aberrant mind, she enjoys being here at this very moment. Strange perhaps, but it's not like she ever had a word for whatever they had. They never needed one to define them. ]
Yeah, it's what I want. I wouldn't change how I feel for the world. So if you're still okay with my hand, I'll do my best to help.
[ Come what may. Hell's always been a step away. So undeterred, she squeezes his hand back. ]
[ He breaks into a smile at hers, fully at ease now that it's been decided. He doesn't need the future, but if those he cares about want it, then he'll give it to them. And he would be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't enjoy all that they were together. But that's the thing, he's always been honest with himself about how he's felt. That's one of the reasons they're here, moving forward still.
Maybe that's a fine enough word for them: together?
It's a thought floating in his mind, his one hand falling, then reaching for her other one. ]
[ The future is built on what they have now, a weirdly relaxing thought in the face of the black box that is this island. She relaxes. Just because she doesn't fully understand her feelings doesn't mean she won't act on them anyway, always a creature of whim. The world may end before she does, but that's fine. Just the knowledge of its presence is enough for her.
Eyes falling at the movement, she reaches out as well, catching his other hand midway. ]
Then it's a deal. Let's do our best.
[ She starts to try to swing their hands again, pleased at the thought, the moment, and what led them to this point. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ He goes along with the swinging since he's not entirely unfamiliar with it given Toga's everything. Not that he contributes much to it, but there's an acceptance there, the energy from it giving away to a kind of smile. ]
But she was pretty tilted this week. I guess that's what rage quitting from her looks like? [ It's said with an amused tone, but also actual thought. He's not sure what was going on with her besides a mess, which is kinda funny because he's awful. But on the other hand, he finds it a bit confusing too.
And unlike Lobelia's trial, he's not in the position to be there to poke it out of her. ]
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Seems like it. I do like that she finally started confronting me, but it seems she decided to go a few steps farther. Was she always like that?
[ Funny, she's both amused and thoughtful on the topic of Lacus. They probably spent more time playing Mario Kart than actually talking at this point, not that it bothers her much. She's not one to delve in deeply into someone like that. ]
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Well she thought that we're alike. But kinda polar opposites too? I think it was that we're both determined to make the world we wanna see. [ Which he pulls a face at because he is not making anything, just destroying, but it's easier to frame it like that.
He turns to her then, while keeping their rhythm. ]
So you tell me?
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Make the world, huh? Strange way to put it. I guess determination isn't wrong, but...hmm.
[ She actually hums out loud this time, thinking as they continue their stroll. ]
From my point of view: is it really making the world if their society is smashed so hard they can't pick up the pieces? Because that's what I'm looking for.
[ Coexistence is a pipe dream after all. If they're gone, the Vectors can live on, finally free from those who would hurt them. ]
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Exactly! There's no world where everyone is happy, no matter how you go 'bout it. So take your happiness but don't try to make believe it works for everyone cuz it doesn't.
Society won't accept us, so we'll destroy it until there's nothing left to do the accepting in the first place.
I don't make things, I destroy them.
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Yeah, you're right. A single solution that makes everyone happy will never exist.
[ Even among the Vectors, she can't say that all of them wouldn't mourn the loss of humans. Yuuki, that empathetic soul, probably would struggle to accept such a reality. But how else can they live in that hostile world? ]
The world is indifferent to the feelings of others. We might as well take what we want from its remains.
[ Something about such a clear answer fills her with a joy she can't describe. ]
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[ He doesn't need to match her grin because they're in tandem on this too, eyes as bright as the blood spread from his hands over and over again. ]
Do what you want, be free to be whatever or whoever you wanna be. That's what I want for you to have.
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[ Everything after is a bonus, right? Something about her eyes seems to sparkle in the light, a mischievous glint that matches her smile. ]
And I want the same for you too. Even if that might be strange to say in this situation.
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And I got that already, remember? [ He will continue to be like this but she knows this already. Though he doesn't stop there and squeezes her hand. ]
But bonuses are sweet so I'll take it too.
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Haha, yeah, that's true. Nothing's stopping you.
[ She squeezes his hand back, trying not to think too hard about how much longer this will last. How much longer she can walk with him on this island. Still, no need to let the melancholy of a possible future settle in. It's better to focus on the fun of the present, one day at a time. ]
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[ They can get back to serious talks if they want later, he's just going along with his thoughtstream. There's still whatever Shuda was doing, Lacus aside.
It's also kinda funny how he warned Lacus in a way in regards to associating with him in public, but how with her it's kinda the opposite somehow. ]
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Hmm, surprise me? I do enjoy your taste in video games. They've all been pretty easy to pick up and play.
[ Even if everything's coming to a head, the rest of the serious talk can come later, yes. ]
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Sure, I'll figure out something. Anything you wanna pick then? In general.
[ He's not really sure what he's asking but he feels the need to ask it, so he does. ]
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Action might be too general, so...maybe fighting or beat 'em ups? I've been trying a few lately.
[ She's really not too picky about the choice, but she appreciates the thought anyway. ]
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[ To emphasize, he'll swing their hands every so slightly. ]
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[ She turns to look him in the eyes, her own widening in surprise. Almost belatedly, she returns the motion, blinking all the while. ]
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anyway. he really isn't one to look towards the future, but he also is used to preparing for things too. pre-potting and buffing, all that good stuff. after all, rushing into things unprepared is why he lost so many things starting out. the hideout, magne, kurogiri. and from these losses hes mourned from them in his way, grown, gotten better at not taking things for granted.
he doesn't know sadness or sorrow, but he does know how to appreciate what he has. as much as he leaves the past behind, it's still shaped him. that he carries with him, like all the hands he once did. he has no need for the future but he has need for the present, in continuing to move forward and take things, hold things, even if he can't understand them and never will.
so he looks at her and smiles, one of his rare soft ones that he has no right to wear, but does anyway. ]
Anything you wanna do on the island. Or together. Or both. Really, whatever you want.
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Flustered, her eyes start wandering as her mind goes into overdrive. She knows this can't last forever. There are a lot of parts they have to take care of for their own similar, yet separate goals. A lot of other souls they have to see in their own world. Like Yukinami and Hyuga for her, both awaiting her long-coming decision. She really kept them waiting long enough. And she won't forget about Yuuki and her friend, who she has also pledged her aid to. Not to mention the Vectors, all of whom could use her help to coordinate. There's so much for her to do.
She knows all this and refuses to forget them. Theta and the other colonies must fall no matter what, without any pieces to pick up after. But she can't really deny that she also feels a connection here now, something unthinkable for her weeks ago. Like a lot of things really. Something about her emotions now feel less muted. Maybe not to the point that it can be described as vibrant, but even she recognizes how lively she's been.
It troubles her, yet she can't hate it, much less let it go. ]
Then... [ She's not sure how to put this in words, but she tries with what she has. ] What if I said that even after this game—after we accomplish our goals—I'd want to walk with you like this again?
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he has his goals that he'll do anything for, is doing anything for, not that he's ever been one to hold back in the first place. someone had asked him recently, what moravia was to him. he didn't have the answer then and he doesn't have the answer now, but he has known something for a while. she isn't a villain in the sense of the word when it comes to rankings, and she isn't an ally either; ironically their relationship isn't a working one, despite what some people on the island might think. their power dynamic should be unequal given who he is on this island and shigaraki has never forgotten that. he's the boss, he's one of the reasons they're here, repeating this cycle over and over again. but.
in that twisted way his mind works, he considers her his equal.
they understand each other, in a different way than anyone else has before. it doesn't matter to him that the connections are wired the wrong way or if what he's doing is wrong, odd, or even stupid; he'll do it anyway because it's what he wants to do.
so he considers the ask, rather than dismiss it. tries not to let the black hole that are his thoughts about the future reduce it to nothing. this he does, this he always will do for those he cares about.
he doesn't need to understand. ]
I'd say we should find a better waterfall to climb then, if I haven't destroyed 'em all. [ because that's where they've wound up as luck (hah) would have it, even if really he had no direction in mind. ]
Then again, maybe I'd wind up making more with decay? Then we'd have to go on more than one walk.
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Her life hangs in a precarious balance. It's not like she's unaware she's courting death every week. Even more so after the night she killed Skywarp at the very waterfall they're standing around. That sealed her fate as a hidden public enemy, and yet she still feels no real urge to care. What's so different about the group as a whole and Theta scorning her for her choices? Not much really. Same old, same old, just in a different packaging.
Maybe she could've made things easier on her by avoiding all of that, but she wouldn't be herself then. She acts on her whims, and on that night, she was only particularly concerned with helping Shigaraki with his game and keeping the rest of the Toucans out of target range. And one of those reasons was a far bigger motivator, no offense intended to the other side, lovely as they are.
Ah, yes, the crux of all this: Shigaraki. Even with how removed she is in terms of typical relationships, she recognizes that there's something off-kilter in the way they made it to this point. But without that deviation, none of this would have happened in the first place. Their talks wouldn't have let her come to the realization of what she really wanted from herself and the world. That answer was something she was desperate to hear for as long as she could remember, to the detriment of everyone she knows back home. She couldn't have come up with it alone, her longing heart and unrealized sentimentality keeping her from pulling the trigger.
But now? Now she can pull that trigger, watch Theta and the other colonies crumble and fall. She doesn't need those what-ifs any longer, to wonder what could've come from Yuuki's idealism. The answer was always there all along: the destruction of the society that caused so much pain and suffering. With that comes the end of the superheroes upholding a blighted status quo, the freedom of Vectors to live as they please, the start of something truly new. She simply needed to embrace the urge to destroy as truly part of her.
Funny how all those realizations came about while talking with someone who, even now, could easily end her life.
Logically, she should worry more about someone as whimsical with the ability to kill her. But her logic's always been rather skewed, tempered irregularly by her upbringing and how early the researchers severed her from any sense of normalcy. In a way, him being open about violence from the start made him more comfortable to be around. She didn't need to wonder about his intentions, sure that her death was always in the cards. And that's particularly refreshing after dealing with all the masks everyone wears day in and out, apart and as a group.
Still, she never expected their conversations to become something she looks forward to, even to the point of sleep crimes. Nor did she guess that she would feel the urge to reach out to him, to lend him a hand. If anyone told her weeks ago that they'd end up playing video games with each other, holding hands, laughing together? She'd think they were delusional. And yet, here they are. The dice just rolled like that, somehow. And yet if she got the chance, she wouldn't change it for anything. How could she when, despite their differences, they can understand each other in a way she never thought she would for anyone else?
She wouldn't be the her standing here right now if she denies that she cares about him, knowing this could and would lead her to ruin. Messed up? Probably, but something tells her she doesn't need to understand why. The feeling is there, and that's what matters in the end, right?
And yet that melancholy still exists inside. But she steps forward despite the discordant beat. ]
If that's the case, I'd say that I'd join you on those walks no matter what the waterfall looks like. Or even if there isn't a waterfall, because I could've wrecked it as well.
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when they're far enough inside that the roar of the water is muffled to a quiet thrum, he stops. squeezes her hand gently. ]
That's enough hypotheticals. [ with his free hand he places a finger under her chin to tip her gaze up towards him. not that he thinks she's ever one to shy away, but this is important. ]
Moravia. I can't create things but I can take them, and I can take this for us. This island's tech aside, someone I gotta save can open portals to other places. I'll figure it out.
Is that what you want? [ maybe this is his other quirk speaking through him, the one he was raised to carry, all for one. it takes and it takes and it takes, but it can also give in a sense of the word if you ignore the moral implications. but when has that mattered to either of them? ]
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For all the effect he had on her, that's something that never changed. Despite the deaths, trials, and a skewed moral compass, this is how she always was.
And that's why she doesn't flinch away at his touch, looking him in the eyes again with a growing smile. Because despite the mixture of feelings in her aberrant mind, she enjoys being here at this very moment. Strange perhaps, but it's not like she ever had a word for whatever they had. They never needed one to define them. ]
Yeah, it's what I want. I wouldn't change how I feel for the world. So if you're still okay with my hand, I'll do my best to help.
[ Come what may. Hell's always been a step away. So undeterred, she squeezes his hand back. ]
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[ He breaks into a smile at hers, fully at ease now that it's been decided. He doesn't need the future, but if those he cares about want it, then he'll give it to them. And he would be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't enjoy all that they were together. But that's the thing, he's always been honest with himself about how he's felt. That's one of the reasons they're here, moving forward still.
Maybe that's a fine enough word for them: together?
It's a thought floating in his mind, his one hand falling, then reaching for her other one. ]
Hands, not hand. But yeah, I do too.
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[ The future is built on what they have now, a weirdly relaxing thought in the face of the black box that is this island. She relaxes. Just because she doesn't fully understand her feelings doesn't mean she won't act on them anyway, always a creature of whim. The world may end before she does, but that's fine. Just the knowledge of its presence is enough for her.
Eyes falling at the movement, she reaches out as well, catching his other hand midway. ]
Then it's a deal. Let's do our best.
[ She starts to try to swing their hands again, pleased at the thought, the moment, and what led them to this point. ]
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[ Them? Whoever tries to stand in their way.
This time he fully goes along with the motion, laughing a bit about the absurdity of it all, but pleased with it too. ]
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