TLCR

[killerwaves]

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idk how long this is and im sure i missed some things but expires

[handsheld]

pulls up lawn chair

okay lets see if i can do this

shigaraki went into this game very sleepy and with 0 thoughts other than: i gotta kill overhaul again once hes made the serum. full stop, thats it. since hes awakened shigaraki, there arent many thoughts in his head nowadays since hes reached nirvana. this is relevant because

lacus and moravia were the only 2 initially who made him actually think. its not a bad thing, but it meant he had interest there, doubly so in moravia's case since another world destroyer. i mean those are his kind of people, but even in their first conversation it was framed in the "now i have an interest in not seeing you die", which also isnt new... except moravia wasnt asking for anything. which is a big huh, and again not in a bad way.

and their subsequent questions were more of that, with the added spice of shigy just cheering for destruction because its who he is, in the literal sense that only mha characters can be. he probably would have stopped to think what this was doing for him feeling wise if there was any resistance here but there wasnt, and another theme he has is just building and building and building, or destroying, destroying, and destroying. its a chain reaction, a cascade, and all of that is just extremely natural for him.

it started to get a bit more personal when he asked if they thought he was more human or goat, because he considers himself neither, he is just himself. so that answer, even if it wasnt the same as how he views himself in his mind, did reinforce that they get it. they get being different in a way from everyone else.

you get into after lobelia trial thread and its more building but also shigy talking about love, and for a villain hes in a unique position here where he actually knows what that feels like, but hes decided to reject it. he wont bend to how society views that should be or anything around it, and again they resonated here even if it wasnt exactly the same.

theyre both villains and theyve both accepted it. its also where he realizes himself that he enjoys their company at this point, and hes okay with that because hes had the growth in canon to realize that as much as he doesnt need anyone, company is fun. hes a loner, but he also values connections, as long as their on his terms and within his expectations. hes accepted all of this and realized that after this point when they hit him with the offering of their hand.

hands and him will always, always, always be a thing. i wrote that it was the repetition that got him, but it was also the way they said it; with no strings attached, no wants attached, no adoration attached, it just was. the only time hes ever been offered a hand like that is with AFO. it just was.

and even if hes no longer tenko shimura who wants to help people, wants to help others, that simple phrase hit him at his core that still reaches for connections, for out stretched hands

So very obviously, that changed a lot on his end, in a way he was aware of (for now). he wasnt going to do anything for them for no reason, but he also was willing and wanted to expend more effort. like the loot.

WHICH WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT BUT EVERYONES :O FACE HERE. and here is the start of the things he has no idea about but is enjoying them and this is a trend that will only increase. he knows enough about birthdays to know what you normally do on them and since he gives them like toga in the sense that they like some normalcy, this is why he wished them a proper happy bday once he realized that was a thing. its not something hed ever normally do on his own but since he thought theyd like it. he did it. you can clearly see how this is is the beginning of the rest of EVERYTHING

"ibuki/moravia enjoys this and i enjoy them so i am going to keep giving it to them"

face in hands

which is why he decides to actually do something for their birthday since!!! they would like that. and the other bit was just accidental??? this is his way of being thoughtful.

and then heres there feedback loop where hes pleased to know their pleased. and bc his life is about doing whatever he wants now, whatever he feels good, hes going to keep doing this going forward. which he does. perhaps too much? no its not too much to him. some notions about ibuki/moravia deserving the world if they want it but theres no deserving involved and more just shigy being like: oh you want this and i can give it? here :> please see the:

"You can ask, you know. (...) Whatever you want."

i gotta go back a bit here so gomen for jumping around, but this dialogue was really important:

"You said you'd lend me your hand, right? So I'm givin' you mine. Hands are meant to hold onto somethin', whatever that it is, or whoever that is."

This is really, truly, wholly, how he views them at this point. For better or worse, which is why he was super clear on the meeting with Billy that no, they're (mine), so if you touch them we're going to have a problem.

wheezes at skywarps everything. this more of the above but also them both acting on it, including the murder. he was on a manic high after all that whole trial, both vibing off the good of them getting away with it, but also the bad of lacus being frustrated because hes not a good person!!!

which is why he just takes their hand like that without putting any thought into it because uh. theyve been doing that already??? basically???? and he is against all odds, not against physical affection. i spent so much time reviewing on this because i couldnt believe it myself but hes actually big on showing it in small ways for those he cares about it, i cant even call him neutral on it, shocking things about shigy i know but its probably because he used to be very touchy as a kid.

...and i feel like the physical affection spiraled quickly like the rest of the above because apparently thats just their MO.

he doesnt know what to call what they have, but he knows (and is not shy) about caring about them a whole lot. theyre on a whole different level than the rest of the league, because he views them as equals and thats tremendously important in just letting him vibe in a way he doesnt do with anyone else.

the last big change here that crystallized everything for him was when he asked them what they wanted when their time was coming to an end. because yeah, as much as he felt the above, he also wasnt thinking about the future because thats not how he works. the fact that their answer included him threw him for a million loops, and it only was comprehensible to them because of literally everything they built so far. or i should say that he doesnt understand but he understands that he doesnt NEED to understand , which is really funny but lol.

so yeah, he can do this. he can let himself put a thought in a future when he doesnt really believe in that word, because he does believe in them. they make him feel all kinds of things, maybe some things he doesnt think he can properly feel anymore??? but he also feels like theyd never expect that of him so hes going to continue just following his impulses and yes i regret to inform you this means actual, purposeful cuddling in their end game thread. he enjoys touching them???? and it makes him feel a way that they never once had an aversion to that. in a way, they make him feel as normal as he possibly can be, while also accepting and liking everything he is even if those things should be incongruent.

where does this put them???

please see his answer to the date question on final confrontation. he doesnt see a need to put a name to it. he doesnt fit in the bounds of society or their norms, and he knows they dont either, and thats what their relationship is about.

no matter what, he wont let go of their hand.