TLCR

[killerwaves]

1. post a top level
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3. get your cr deets!!!

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[mysticpowerbroker]

waves hand

[chrysaline]

ratshakes your disaster wizard in my furious fist I'M SO ANGRY THAT I CARE HIM

This is another relationship that honestly had no right to be as impactful as it was. I decided to assume that her world doesn't have Arthurian legend (even though it has Shakespeare smh) just to avoid giving myself headaches. So as a result she largely assumed he was bullshitting her at the beginning, and her attitude was basically "tee hee he's a funny little guy." She actually was mostly teasing him/just enjoying his company casually and then unexpectedly... he pulled out the philosophical conversations and the advice relatively early (BECAUSE SOME MONSTER KNEW THEY ONLY HAD ONE WEEK!!!! I TRAMPLE YOU UNDER MY HOOVES).

It probably seems like she leaped right to instant trust, but that wasn't quite it! She found him interesting to discuss things with, and she was leaning into advice Medea had given her — essentially, that by being sincere and open with others, she makes them want to rise to meet her expectations. But she was genuinely touched by what he said about humans. Psyche, too, has seen some truly awful revolting irredeemable acts committed by people. Despite her overall softness, she's not all-forgiving. Sometimes the garbage has gotta go. She's still trying to feel this out for herself and really coalesce it into a moral system, so hearing essentially the more experienced and grounded take on that back from Merlin was actually a Very Big Deal to her. She's been alienated and isolated from other people by her nature, but still loves them deeply; she felt the same sentiment from Merlin particularly here. She began thinking they might be something like kindred spirits (as a bonus bc I took her after this canon point: basically this parallel). This could have pretty easily drifted into either a crush or a mentorship when SOMEONE WENT AND DIED HORRIBLY.

Merlin was actually the first and last death on the island she cried for. It hit her a lot harder than she expected! Partially the shock, and partially a genuine sense of loss. It made her realize how much more she'd wanted to talk to him about, which is when she decides that they were probably friends (at least from her side) even if it really was only briefly. She definitely ascribed the best possible motivations to his actions because she didn't get a chance to know him better, and the admins helped that along by providing a very flattering contrast; on the one hand she had Merlin, who clearly cared about people in his own way, and on the other hand these assholes, who didn't even seem to see them as people at all. (There is also uhhhh the whole contrast to the guardian god that blessed Psyche, which I got into on plurk, so: suffice it to say this is also flattering in Merlin's favor.) Combine that with Psyche's strong aversion to seeing people hurt, her tendency to dwell on her own mistakes, the fact that she hates standing idly by and ultimately... she was regretting a lot that Merlin didn't just take her along even if she would have died too. She's made reckless death charges before and she'll do it again, let her fistfight god.

Having some time for all of that to fester is another reason she was so giddy to hear from him again. It was like a second chance with her friend, and to maybe actually be able to do something to help him this time! She wanted to make up for her self-perceived failures before, but just being able to talk again was a really wonderful thing. Memshares was another great chance for her to get to know him a little more, and even if those memories were on the lighter side, two things there hit pretty hard: "The day he doesn't run is the day he'll die." (monster) and "Look, how was he to expect people would be happy to see him? It doesn't happen often, even when he does come and help out in a pinch!" This was a two-for-one giving bonus heroic gloss to what Merlin did. She's so upset that he acted out of character for himself (apparently?!), and reinforcing that he didn't expect people to actually value what he did just made her double down on her determination to care about him extra hard.

And then, from her perspective, he validated that feeling when he contacted her after Billygate. She was honestly so touched that he was worrying about her even though she considered what happened to her fairly minor. Having one other person who didn't forgive Billy, even though their reasons were different, soothed some of her spiraling even if telling her about how awful his death was increased... different spiraling... I made a lot of jokes about him quoting Dantes to her setting her on a revenge path, but it's not 100% wrong. Maybe Merlin made her Worse in this regard: seeing someone she respects still holding a bit of a grudge made her maybe indulge those feelings just a little! Even though at the end of the day she wants to be able to move past them. But what it ultimately coalesced into was the shape her moral resolve takes for endgame and post-LR: she hates seeing people hurt, and she won't stand by and let it happen anymore. If that means she has to kill in order to prevent it, she's determined to do so even if it would be hard for her. SO...... Merlin did in fact up her murder quotient just a little. (Thanks, king!) Like I already mentioned, if Merlin had chosen to stand and fight at the end then she probably would have, too; it's what she thought was more morally right.

Anyway despite not having much time together, Merlin ended up being a very important friend to her. She knows she doesn't have to worry about him being lonely since he's going to be playing house with Zelkov (A WARM CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM FOR THE W) but she's also going to take every opportunity to keep in touch now that they can and build a deeper relationship from knowing each other better. She does look up to him as a quasi-mentor, but she also thinks he needs a keeper, so she intends to keep an eye out for his well-being as a friend and give him either praise or scolding as the situation requires. ♡ Most of all, she wants to make sure he's not isolating himself because of the whole ~oh I'm apart from humanity~ thing, and to know that he's cared for.

Also not being able to learn summoning from him anymore is one reason she had mixed feelings about losing her powers, so, he still owes her that after she makes cultivation progress so she can do a loving intervention when he starts hermitting again THANKS ♡♡♡♡

Bonus: the song I associate with Psyche -> Merlin

[mysticpowerbroker]

crying ;_; this is so much psyche is/was such a good...

thank u for bringing her along, i enjoyed these two's CR so much

AND OH NO THAT SONG IS BEAUTIFUL???