[ Zelkov believes him. The shock of that can't be measured in mere words.
Before, when he had said those words, he didn't know the truth of them. What they originally meant, what deep down they had meant. How could he? He never allowed himself to cherish the true sensation of those feelings, if they should have originated within himself, merely denying he could feel them at all. But through it all, he's found himself so troubled, finding himself choked by things like an intense black hatred, or suffocated by a pleasing pleasant surprise that can't be explained away by vestiges. Then even a bright intensity when around those who want to share in his presence, because they actually didn't mind him.
Now...this.
The sort of smothering flame that had begun to grow, like a blossom born from embers; a feeling without a name he could place upon it. ]
I would never want to hurt you so, Zelkov. I won't fake anything for you...I promise.
[ Merlin looks at the hand, trying to say everything that's welling up inside of him, yet for once he feels struck senseless. ]
I...
[ But now, just like a certain someone said, he feels so clumsy, and his chest so tight, as if it's overwhelming. 'Ahh, so he was right, after all,' Comes the thought.
But, that's fine, even if his heart feels like a sieve, as if it's been pierced by a blade. Seeing that soft smile, it does things to him. Merlin reaches out with a hand of his own to grasp the one reaching out to him, first unsteady, but the grip becoming more firm. For awhile, he hesitated still, even if he wanted to hold the man. Because he hadn't been sure even now of the validity of his own feelings. But, no more of that. With his other hand, he slides it forward so that his arm is around Zelkov's waist in one smooth motion, pulling them closer. Next, he moves in forward to claim his lips in an affectionate, yet gentle kiss.
Merlin will take responsibility, chase this feeling, discover what it all means even more, and show Zelkov all that he has to give. He wants to be by his side. That promise of his...even after he's exhausted so much, he will be sure to honor it. ]
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[ Zelkov believes him. The shock of that can't be measured in mere words.
Before, when he had said those words, he didn't know the truth of them. What they originally meant, what deep down they had meant. How could he? He never allowed himself to cherish the true sensation of those feelings, if they should have originated within himself, merely denying he could feel them at all. But through it all, he's found himself so troubled, finding himself choked by things like an intense black hatred, or suffocated by a pleasing pleasant surprise that can't be explained away by vestiges. Then even a bright intensity when around those who want to share in his presence, because they actually didn't mind him.
Now...this.
The sort of smothering flame that had begun to grow, like a blossom born from embers; a feeling without a name he could place upon it. ]
I would never want to hurt you so, Zelkov. I won't fake anything for you...I promise.
[ Merlin looks at the hand, trying to say everything that's welling up inside of him, yet for once he feels struck senseless. ]
I...
[ But now, just like a certain someone said, he feels so clumsy, and his chest so tight, as if it's overwhelming. 'Ahh, so he was right, after all,' Comes the thought.
But, that's fine, even if his heart feels like a sieve, as if it's been pierced by a blade. Seeing that soft smile, it does things to him. Merlin reaches out with a hand of his own to grasp the one reaching out to him, first unsteady, but the grip becoming more firm. For awhile, he hesitated still, even if he wanted to hold the man. Because he hadn't been sure even now of the validity of his own feelings. But, no more of that. With his other hand, he slides it forward so that his arm is around Zelkov's waist in one smooth motion, pulling them closer. Next, he moves in forward to claim his lips in an affectionate, yet gentle kiss.
Merlin will take responsibility, chase this feeling, discover what it all means even more, and show Zelkov all that he has to give. He wants to be by his side. That promise of his...even after he's exhausted so much, he will be sure to honor it. ]